I am a size 4

As those who of you who follow me on twitter know, last week I went on a fun date with Crooked Star. I had a massage, and was contemplating canceling the date as it was late, but then he suggested something I couldn't turn down -- "Would you like to come to Holt's with me and help me pick out my sister's Christmas gift?". He immediately heard the excitement in my voice when I said "yesyesyesyesyes", and cautioned me that this was only date number 8, and since I was a bad girl for the last few dates (read: grumpy, hungover and a bee eye tee sea ach), Santa isn't getting anything for me. That was ok with me, still fun to play and try on things. Holt's wasn't a huge success (it is IMPOSSIBLE to pick out for a girl you  have never met, and all the things he was initially picking out were $600+ which was too much). So we go to Aritzia.

Now, let me start by saying I LOVE Aritzia. Everything there fits me so nicely, and I almost always want to buy every single thing I try on. We walk in and see an awesome boyfriend jacket and I tell him he must buy immediately for le soeur. Then the store clerk comes over and asks Crooked Star if he needs any help. The boy is trying to pick out a size and says his sister is about my size. Ok. That's fine. The girl looks me up and down and says "What size are you?" I say "a four." She looks me up and down AGAIN and says "no you aren't, I'm a four." This prompts me to look her up and down, and see that she is a twig who is most definitely a zero or even less. Her legs were skinnier than my arms. Twigs that I could snap. I shrug it off and say "well I'm usually a four in Aritzia clothes, but in designer clothes I'm a fatty for them so usually about a six or eight". She then says "Oh yes, Aritzia sizes are sized huge, so you probably are bigger". Lovely, merci beaucoup. Boy then asks Twig to try on jacket (big mistake on his behalf). Twig then removes her sweater, only to have a mesh see through american apparel tank on underneath, with only a lace mesh see through bra. I can't stop staring at her breasts, and even though Crooked Star claims he didn't notice them, I'm sure he couldn't either. Twig then puts on the size four, and voila, it's too big. Quel surprise. Puts on a two, still too big. Have a sandwich.

This is an absurdly long story, but it begs me to ask what the fuck is with the competitive nature of girls? I think it was obvious I was on some sort of date with this guy, and the girl continuously was trying to make me look bad in front of him. I see her every time I go in there (Bloor street, orange hair, even oranger face), and I am tempted to ask her what made her do that? Is it her own insecurity? Is she desperate to compensate for her retail job by making other girls feel bad? Guys are dicks enough as is, I don't understand why girls need to compete. We are on the same team, it's us against them, and we need to teach boys that other girls won't let them get away with wandering.. Not let them know that they can cheat anytime they want because there is an orange skinned retailer around the corner. People cheat, because they can.

And I am a four.

The wandering eye test

We all know it. You are in the middle of talking to your boyfriend, friend, husband, girlfriend.. then all of a sudden a girl wearing less clothing than you walks by. What once may have been staring you directly in the eyes has now been diverted to this subject of interruption. Somehow we have been brainwashed into thinking that this is completely acceptable, because it's just what guys do. Really? Is that really a valid excuse? It starts with a stare, then it leads to all other sorts of wandering. If a boy is with me, talking to me, in my presence, then he should be paying attention to me, not the random girl walking by.

He used to always do this to me. We would be talking and I would notice I have temporarily lost his eye contact and it is now directed towards whatever girl is walking by (half the time they weren't even THAT hot), and it would be for a very noticeable 2-3 seconds... staring. I just convinced myself not to be high maintenance and to just accept it. Sometimes I would even say "oh she's pretty eh?". WHAT WAS I THINKING? This is not okay. Maybe after years and years of dating, when you are finally trusting each other, but at the start? THIS IS NOT OKAY.

So let it be a lesson to you, boys, if you are on a date with me and your eyes are starring at someone else, you will not be getting a date number two.

Am I overreacting? Am I becoming a high maintenance b with an itch? Comment, thoughts! 

the arrival gate

Everyone has those moments, some more than others, where it hits you that you may not be as happily single as you thought. The arrival gate at the airport for me will continue to be one of those moments for me. I travel often, have become quite close with that gate, and every time I feel some sort of longing, sadness, when I walk through those doors only to be greeted by eyes that are looking for someone else. None of them are there for me. No one with flowers, no one to run over to me to tell me they missed me and are glad I am home. In normal day to day I feel fantastic, but there are always those moments that exist to remind you of what you might be missing.

falling off the face of the earth

So I don't get this syndrome that certain boys have, at all. Recently, I was sort of kind of seeing a guy, as in we would talk daily, went on a date (tried to set up others but I was a sickling). This guy would text me to the point where I found it annoying.. I replied every now and then, but he was total overkill. I contemplated ditching him, but realized I do that all the time and maybe I should just embrace the fact that he likes to talk to me.

So I reply, and then I get used to his constant texts and communication. I'm at home sick, it's entertaining for me, so I reply, and sometimes I text him a few times without reply. He eventually will, and all is well.

Until randomly on Sunday, all the texts stop. Monday... nothing. No responses to my texts.. nothing. Today? Nothing..

I'm not phased because I was in love with this guy (honestly, felt a bit like a rebound from him), but the fact that he all of a sudden ups and ignores me after I was already annoyed with him brings out the whole hard to get mind game shit, and it BOTHERS me. No event happened, last text I received was in the middle of the night from him on a Saturday night, so it's not like he's all of a sudden banging some chick.

I see this happen to a lot of my girlfriends, and has even happened to me before this.

Another one into the random abyss? Why can't I know what the fuck happened?

Update: Boy contacted me, says he can't keep up with me. That's what I get for being open minded and seeing past his AWFUL jacket and even more horrible shoes.

"why are you single"

The most dreaded question that I get asked almost daily, with an even more dreaded answer. I feel that this comment is almost a backhanded compliment. Sure, it's usually by someone who is surprised I'm single, but it also insinuates that there is something so wrong with being single. As if it is a state that you shouldn't be, without a reason. Do I ever ask people "why are you in a relationship?". One of these days I will give an answer other than "not sure!" and it will be one or all of the following:

a) Because I live in Toronto. Have you seen the girl to guy ratio?
b) Because of a) there is a significant lacking of cute, smart, single boys.
c) Because many guys fall for me. And Many/All of said guys have girlfriends and I don't believe in fairytales. Or wrecking homes.
d) Because I don't see the state of being single something that I have to get out of by "settling".
e) Because I am secretly a monster that eats the heads of all boys who I kiss.

Isn't it obvious? I'm single because I haven't found anyone that I can see myself with. That's it. That's all.

What is the answer to this ridiculous question?

I don't date guys that LOL

When I was out for brunch with a few girlfriends, I mentioned in passing that all of the boys i was currently going on dates with all had iPhones. Weird right? I immediately thought it was another thing to add to my Seinfeld Syndrome list which is currently: poor grammar, bad at settlers of catan or other strategy board games, cannot name 4 hockey players, call me dude, phlegm-y voices.. you know the ones that sound like they should cough and most importantly (seriously)... GUYS WHO USE LOL.

Today, after having some recent boy issues with lack of communication / abundance of ignoring since one of said boys recently lost their iPhone, I realized how incredibly frustrating it is to try and have any sort of relationship (serious or not) with someone who is sans smartphone and is unwired. That prompted me to tweet

would it be shallow to only date boys with iphones? elitist? or just seinfeld syndrome?
http://twitter.com/unbrelievable/status/2761201656

This started a discussion between me and andyarobertson:

@unbrelievable clearly it's because you want dudes who know what's awesome.

@unbrelievable plus you need to date someone who's phone has the capacity for crazy long novelesque drunk texts. ie. iPhone people like us.

I remember I was seeing a guy a few years ago, and he didn't have a blackberry. I did, and I wrote him a message (not realizing that the 1/2 2/2 thing at the top meant PAGES for losers without bbs) and it ended up being 3 pages long (read: 3 tweets). He immediately thought me to be a stalker and stopped speaking to me. Months pass, said boy sees me at a Jason Collett show, starts texting me "nice white shirt" (WHO IS THE FUCKING STALKER NOW CREEPO) after I definitely no longer had his number in my phone. Then he proceeds to apologize, as he now has a blackberry and now understands that I wasn't crazy. Does it come down to the phone, or maybe it really is the person behind the phone? Who is self centered enough to think of someone as being a stalker from merely sending 3 text messages back to back? Making excuses if you aren't into someone is one thing (this guy proceeded to ask me on dates after he saw me in his new found blackberry life), but get over yourself.

Insert andyarobertson comment tweet...

@unbrelievable has dating technologically advanced to the point we now pick matches on texting compatibility???

I honestly think in this day and age it has a lot of importance, as much as I hate to admit it. Someone that takes a day or two to reply to text messages would drive someone like me absolutely insane, as I am consistently texting. It's when the lines are blurred between neediness/stalking/crazy/etc (all these terms that men tend to over use) versus well connected, and these lines are blurred by egos, where it becomes an issue and an interference.

You need to establish the ground rules before hand (ie. don't update facebook, twitter etc while ignoring my text messages or you will get SHIT ON AND YOUR HEAD EATEN), and you need to maintain expectations. I mean, obviously when you first start dating someone its exciting and you want to talk all the time, and after awhile it's totally cool to cool it down a bit.. but texting daily 24/7 then disappearing? you better have a good excuse, an even better apology, and a hell of a lot of wine.

Call me high maintenance, call me crazy, call me a stalker... but how about just calling me well connected.